Moments

A window that opened a view to a busy road with the everyday hustle-bustle. A table with a glass of water, covered with a perch. An empty chair with one leg short, across my plain white bed. A basket stacked with DVDs and a few novels. A screen right in front of me, and a silver door to which my eyes gazed at this time of the day. Usually, I spend all day cooped up inside the room, sometimes the nurses take me out, other times I just watch a movie or read a book. Such was my life for the past 2 months.

City Hospital, Room 47. Every day was the same, I had checkups from a foreign Bulgarian Doctor, named Dr. Sal, who was a very kind person, both in the profession and as a person as well. After those checkups I mostly laid free under observation, watching my lifeless legs and trying my best to occupy my mind with something. For some reason, my family insisted that I be kept here instead of at home. Honestly what I read or saw didn’t actually matter to me, but to some it did, and for them, my eyes gazed at that door whenever the clock was about to strike 4.

In my ordinary life where everything was according to a schedule, the one thing that was always out of prediction was, “Who will open the door first?” Will it be Liza, or will it be Saiph. Currently, Saiph is at the lead with 32, while Liza follows with 27. Today it was 4:07 pm. They could be here any second now, I thought to myself. Suddenly right the very next moment, the door flung open, it was Liza, hampering, and just 6 seconds later Saiph appeared behind her. My eyes glittered as they always did when I saw them. They slowly approached me and with a glint in her eyes, Liza came and sat on the bed alongside, while Saiph got the short end of the stick, a chair with one short leg making it a wobbly sitting.

Every Wednesday, Liza brings a CD with her and Saiph a book, And I have to complete it before the week ends and give them the report otherwise they pout. Today also, Saiph had a book, ‘Successful patients’. “Seriously,” I thought to myself after looking at the title, while Liza, thankfully was empty-handed this time. To me, this time of the day when the clock is at its fastest and my face instead of the door is fixed at these smiling faces, is the best, for these 2 hours are the ones I live every day in wait for.

2 months ago, while helping a stray kitten that was stuck in a tree, I fell down. It was not much of a height but the way I fell, unfortunately, damaged my spine. Ever since that day I have lost the feel of the mother earth at my feet. And am being kept at the hospital for reasons unknown.

Aspiring to be the chief of army staff one day, I had lost all hope in life, since being crippled, not only crippled myself but my dreams as well. I just thought of myself as a hindrance that should be removed. But it were these friends, Saiph and Liza, who took me out of this despair and showed me a new path of life, and made me believe in myself once again.

I have known Saiph for only 4 years via school, but it was enough time for me to connect with him on spiritual plains I don’t think other boys my age might have linked. Our friendship is a bit hard to describe in words, but Liza on the other hand has been a childhood friend of mine, neighbor and daughter of my mom’s bestie and my fiancé as well. Her real name is Laura but since she’s sleek and thin and moves pretty fast with movements that always remind me of lizards, I nicknamed her Liza. I found it rather cute. I was happy that I had the company of such an energetic person. Made me feel more lively.

All I wait every day is for them to visit me so my day can start and end and I can look forward to the next one.

It was a day like any other, the clock struck 4 and now I knew they could sprout out any moment. But instead of Liza or Saiph, an unexpected visitor made its way first, darkness engulfed my eyes and the visitor in the dark gave a slight smirk from shadows that appeared to be the gallows. I was losing consciousness, but, I heard her voice, it was Liza, I guess she is catching up with 32–29 now. Ha, she doesn’t like to lose. I was not able to see them that day. I was not even there anymore.

Half a month had passed, and not much had changed, except for the fact that instead of sitting, I now laid all day, only able to move my head. It finally made sense why I was being kept under observation at the hospital when I even lost the ability to turn my head. It is rightly said, “Life won’t leave you dormant in time, whether it’s sad or happy, times will change.”

There were a few more changes, Liza stopped coming frequently. Saiph put it this way, ‘she can’t see someone this close to her in such a condition. She is ‘sensitive’ after all he said, so I shouldn’t be insensitive. And when she did visit it was hardly for a little while. Eventually, she could not stop those tears and left soon. It was a new side of her that she could be weak too. I was a bit shocked and sad to find it out though and I never was able to see her smile as she used to.

The hope which I gained in 2 months was lost in just a few days, and the following month, nothing but despair kept my mind occupied. “It sure is easy to lose” had become my pet sentence, and I was proved true by fate once again. My vision blurred, while Saiph was right with me, and I had convulsions, it looked scary but didn’t feel that bad, probably because Saiph had my hand in both of his hands all throughout. After this my eyes never opened, and I neither could hear, smell, or … no, I did feel, I felt whenever someone would cry by my side, or when someone would hold my hand. I did lose track of time though and also of the petty race chart I had saved up for who comes first. Now all I lived for was that feeling when I could sense they were beside me, but eventually, I lost that as well, like I said, “It’s easy to lose”.

I had lost my hopes, and reasons to live and recover but somehow I still clung to life. I didn’t let go, even when I wanted to I couldn’t. Eventually, I gave up on trying to give up as well, sounds ironic, doesn’t it? This literal isolation that I saw all the time was not pretty bad. I used to counsel myself with, my consciousness fighting all alone. The last voice of the universe. I don’t know how much time went by, but one day, I heard a whisper, someone familiar, a sound saying, “live, dream, feel”. It made no sense, could be my imagination, since I was but an existence now in my own imagination. I floated, … My eyes opened, it was really sudden, I was back, and it felt as if I was sucked back without even realizing or a forewarning. The first light in so long should have struck hard but it felt warm and homey. This vacuum effect rendered me in a state of confusion. By that time, I was alone in the room, though the doctors and my family soon made way to this miracle. But my opened eyes which felt anew, could not find those two, they had not come. Slowly slowly I regained my other senses with time; the doctors were shocked and had no answers. Dr. Sal, used to give me funny smiles though, which depicted a kind of sadness but hope as well. It was a matter of weeks and I gradually went to my feet. 10 months had passed ever since that unfortunate day that I fell, I was making quick recoveries. But they still were not there. I did ask my parents, the staff, my other fellows from school who showed up like the red moon shows itself. Yet they all replied one same thing, “Saiph and Liza? There are no such people. You never had a friend named Saiph, and heck, why would you be even engaged at such an age.” These answers sometimes felt like a joke, sometimes unreal, yet sometimes, they were the cause of me crying under my blankets at night. The doctors said, “an injury to the head, plus a coma, it’s not at all a unique phenomenon to make up stuff in order to fight. Rather it’s probably because of these thoughts that he made it back.”

I was soon discharged from the hospital. My home felt great, but every time I felt great, I would be reminded of my friends, who always made me feel great. This clutched my heart so tight, that I would feel like crying, yet tears are a precious liquor, not even found in heaven. I couldn’t just cry whenever I felt like it. “What was all this, life felt like a joke, is this even possible?” I would find all types of explanations…. But with time… I succumbed to the environment. It was the final year of high school. My dream still remained to join the forces, but can I now? I asked myself often. It was during these days, that the unanswered question was answered.

On my study table, a picture laid, it was me, Saiph, and Liza. “Best of luck” was written with a marker in the writing that I could recognize anywhere. Only the girl I loved can have such crappy writing. It was not shocking. The day I told myself that maybe the doctors were right, I was woken by a slap. There was no one, and I laughed, I laughed a lot that day. And then I stopped my search, and instead decided to wait. I was just happy to see the anchor that binds me to this life existed. I tilted the photo, in yet another crappy writing style which was of Saiph, “Go lead your dream like the sun you are.” Was written.

So what if they had disappeared from this world, what if any other human could not see or meet them. I was here and so were they as my eyes, my strength, my feelings, my heart, and my reason to stand up and pursue my dreams, not for myself but for 3 of us together. I put the picture down, unsurprisingly never seeing it again in the future. Moved out of the room, with all my doubts and anxieties still at the door but with a newfound passion, to be the sun I was shone the way to be.

P.S, I guess Saiph won the race. Better luck next time Liza. Teehee.